Breaking Out of the Sleep Anxiety Spiral

Some people get to a certain age, and they realize that they have been exhausted for months or even years. Sleep loss affects an array of people, from teens in the middle of exams, new parents adjusting to the demands of an infant, or elderly people dealing with rapid changes in their lives. Some people are simply tired because events like these are demanding, but many people are tired because they have sleep anxiety.

Sleep anxiety is not the same as insomnia; it is the things that cause insomnia. It is the fear you start to feel as bedtime nears, as you worry that you will not fall asleep. It is the dread you feel when you wake up in the middle of the night and see that it is only midnight. You spend hours in bed, willing yourself to sleep, but failing. You can’t help but think about your day tomorrow and the consequences of losing sleep.

Sleep anxiety is debilitating, but it can be fixed without medication or substances. Studies have shown that medication does not help with sleep anxiety in the long-term. When you begin to understand what is going on in your head and in your body, you will begin to unpack some of the anxiety surrounding your sleep problems, breaking the sleep anxiety spiral. Your overthinking might be the thing driving your sleep anxiety, but your mind is also the solution.

The Sleep Anxiety Spiral

The most frustrating thing about sleep anxiety is that it is self-perpetuating. You stress about not being able to fall asleep or stay asleep, and it is that stress that causes sleeplessness. It is like being so afraid of failing your driving test that you cannot concentrate and end up failing the test. It is a form of self-fulfilling prophecy.

Sleep anxiety doesn’t only cause you stress in the evenings, but it also affects your daytime routine. Many people believe that they can only function properly on eight solid hours of sleep per day. This is a common idea that intensifies sleep anxiety. It looks like this: you believe that you need eight hours of quality sleep per day, and so you become anxious that you won’t get that. Then it is your anxiety over not getting enough sleep that becomes the very thing preventing you from getting enough sleep.

There are things you can do and things you must keep from doing to break the sleep anxiety spiral. Overall, you must change your approach to sleep, change the way you think about sleep, and make some changes to your routine. By interrupting your thoughts and behavior this way, you are creating a new pattern for yourself, and it can adapt to your new lifestyle.

Things You Must Do to Interrupt Sleep Anxiety

There are several practical things that you can start doing to interrupt the sleep anxiety spiral. It is a good idea to speak with a doctor or specialist before starting this new regimen, or with anyone who can keep you accountable and provide support. These ideas range from simple tips to deeper and broader attitude changes.

Firstly, create a healthy bedtime routine and stick to it. Your body has a function called the circadian rhythm. This is a set of automatic responses that your central nervous system performs throughout the day to help you. When your brain registers that it is nearing bedtime, it will release a hormone called melatonin into your nervous system. This hormone brings down your cortisol levels, puts your bladder and bowels on pause for the night, and generally prepares your body to be inactive for the next eight to ten hours.

You can help your circadian rhythm in practical ways by following a 3-2-1 principle. Have your final meal of the night three hours before bedtime, have your final drink two hours before bedtime, and reduce screen time for the last hour before bed. This will prime your body for sleep even if your mind is overactive.

With sleep anxiety, you struggle to fall asleep, and you struggle to stay asleep. The first thing most people do when they wake up is to look at the clock and calculate how many hours of sleep they have left. Try taking away your ability to time-check. Remove clocks from your bedroom and place your phone far away from your bedside. This interrupts the compulsive time-checking and the anxiety that comes with it.

In a larger sense, you must change the way you think about sleeping. For example, you might believe that you can only function during the day if you have had more than six hours of sleep the night before.

The truth is that you can be perfectly functional on minimal sleep, even over a long period of time. New parents experience years of sleeplessness and still manage to get by successfully. Sometimes it is your internal beliefs about sleep that contribute the most to sleep anxiety.

Lean into the idea that you are going to be tired tomorrow, and that it’s okay. Accept whatever amount of sleep you get, whether it’s only a few solid hours. Think of nighttime as rest time rather than sleep time.

The fact that you are lying down in a relaxed, safe environment and not looking at screens is enough for your body; sleep would be a bonus. When you change the way you think about sleep, sleep anxiety begins to lose its footing and influence over your mind.

Things to Avoid While Dealing with Sleep Anxiety

It’s natural to feel helpless and overwhelmed with sleep anxiety, and many people resort to using medication and substances like alcohol to cope. These things might help get you some sleep occasionally, but there is a real danger of becoming dependent on them over time. If you have been using medication or substances to help with sleep anxiety, aim to stop using them entirely.

Avoiding screen time before bed and keeping clocks out of sight is good, but it’s also a good idea to get up if you wake up at a certain time. When you lie in bed chasing sleep, you tend to begin overthinking and stressing.

You could try using mindfulness techniques or tools like brain shuffling to get back to sleep, but it’s a better idea to get up and go to a quiet spot in the house for some reading or crafting. Try to avoid screens still, and it’s best not to eat or drink anything. Instead, doing a relaxed activity in a dimly lit room will help keep the anxiety at bay. Eventually, you will become sleepy again, at which point you can simply return to bed to sleep.

Many sleep-tracking apps try to address insomnia, but these have the opposite effect on sleep anxiety. When you have a visualization for how much sleep you’re not getting, that intensifies the anxiety you feel. The goal is to be rested, not to get the perfect amount of sleep each night. Avoid tracking your sleep or trying to meet sleep goals. Instead, aim to have a restful evening. If you fall asleep for a few hours, that’s great. If you don’t, it’s not the end of the world.

Sleep anxiety is difficult, but it’s a cycle you can break. It might not happen overnight, but if you can get to a place where you feel more rested and less anxious, you will have made incredible progress. Give yourself a break because you deserve it.

Some things are easier to face and overcome with someone on your side. Consider meeting with a counselor if your sleep anxiety has become overwhelming. If you don’t have a counselor, we hope that you can find someone suitable in our online catalog or by enlisting the help of our reception team.