Depression After a Breakup: How to Heal

Ending a relationship can be challenging. Life becomes different and sometimes difficult when a person experiences a break-up. There are times when a breakup can lead to depression. This may not always be the case, but the risk of depression is genuine.

Why are you in despair, my soul? And why are you restless within me? Wait for God, for I will again praise Him for the help of His presence, my God. – Psalm 42:11, NASB

The emotions that follow a breakup are natural. Long relationships that come to an end affect many areas of life. Finances, home life, social life, and even work can become difficult as a person experiences a breakup. These changes can bring emotions such as anger, sadness, bitterness, anxiety, and heartache. When these emotions linger and begin to impair life, it could be the onset of depression after a breakup.

Symptoms of Depression After a Breakup

Each person reacts to a breakup differently. The severity of depression after a breakup can be affected by the length of the relationship. Those who are ending a lengthy relationship may have a harder time overcoming the pain of the breakup. The circumstances surrounding the breakup also have a bearing on how the person reacts and copes with the breakup.

The most common symptoms of depression after a breakup are:

Extreme or prolonged sadness When the sadness is overwhelming and prevents a person from engaging in everyday living, it could be an indication of depression.

Changes in sleep habits One of the most common symptoms of breakup depression is a change in sleeping habits. This could be less sleep, more sleep, or sleeping at times that are not typical for the person. Lack of sleep can cause a person to feel drained and unable to navigate feelings.

Lack of interest in hobbies Becoming depressed after a breakup can cause a person to lose interest in those things that once brought them joy.

Difficulty in making decisions Lack of sleep and sadness can affect a person’s ability to make decisions. They may feel as though making a decision is overwhelming and distressing.

Feeling worthless Breakups often leave a person feeling worthless. Some take on guilt even though it wasn’t entirely their decision to end the relationship. This is commonly indicated by negative attitudes about themselves and constantly questioning why it happened.

Irritable and restless Not knowing why something changed can cause irritability and restlessness in some people. They may become quick to be angry at things that normally wouldn’t affect them.

Changes in eating habits Depression is often indicated by a lack of eating or overeating.

Aches and pains Sometimes, a person may experience various aches or pains due to the heartache of a breakup. Some of these can include digestive problems.

Harmful thoughts If a person is communicating that they have thoughts of self-harm or suicide, it is vital to get them the help they need by connecting with a Christian therapist.

Risk factors for depression after a breakup

Not every person will be affected by depression after a breakup. However, some risk factors can indicate an issue with depression after a breakup.

• If there is a history of depression, a person has a higher risk of developing breakup depression.
• A lack of social support can cause loneliness, which may lead to depression.
• Drug and alcohol use can be a disorder that affects depression.
• Being unable to navigate changes is also a risk factor for breakup depression.
• A breakup combined with another big life change can create emotional stress that may lead to depression.

Causes of breakup depression

It is thought that women will be more likely to develop breakup depression. That doesn’t exclude men from experiencing a distressing event that can cause changes and depression. The factors that can lead to depression after a breakup can be related to other changes that result from a breakup.

• Changes in friendships can be an avenue of loneliness which can cause a bout with depression. Mutual friends may choose sides after a breakup causing a person to feel alone in the healing process.
• A financial change after a breakup may cause a burden for the person left with the majority of the debt. Whether it is rent or mortgage, a breakup can be devastating financially. This distress can cause depression.
• The feeling of being abandoned in the past can easily develop into breakup depression.
• If a person has formed a deep attachment to their partner, it is common for them to experience depression after a breakup. Feeling as though a person has lost their security and comfort can bring feelings of grief that can develop into depression.
• Changes in the “feel-good” hormones can play a vital role in depression after a breakup. The disruption of dopamine and oxytocin can cause emotional turmoil and lead to depression.

“Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28, NASB

Tips for healing after a breakup

Finding a healthy way to heal after a breakup can help fight against depression. Each person is different and certain tips may not apply to every breakup, but the important thing to remember is that there is a focus on self-care as the emotional pain of a breakup is navigated.

Limit contact with your ex

This may not be feasible if there are kids involved. Limiting contact can allow healing to begin without any conflicting encounters.

Keep the thought process positive

Continuous thinking about the breakup can keep a person focused on the pain rather than healing. It’s okay to allow time to process the event, but don’t remain stuck in that thought process for an extended period of time.

Refrain from social media

Social media can be an easy way to see what’s going on with your ex. This can create emotions that keep you from healing and moving toward healthy recovery.

Prayer and mindfulness

When a person engages in prayer, they can develop a positive mindset about healing from a breakup. Along with prayer, being mindful of the moment can also create a sense of relief from the pain and sadness of heartache.

Exercise to release emotions

Physical activity helps reduce symptoms of depression and creates a feeling of self-worth. It can help with overcoming feelings of unworthiness.

Stay social

Stay connected to people who can positively influence your healing journey. Staying connected doesn’t mean you have to discuss the breakup. Connection creates value and purpose, which can influence the feeling of self-worth.

Express your feelings

It is normal to desire to express how you feel about the breakup. When a person can share feelings, they are more apt to develop healthy coping skills that will lead to a healthy healing process.

Hope for a future

Some people tend to shy away from any future relationship. Fear of being hurt again can keep a person isolated and unfulfilled. Having hope that there is a future relationship that won’t be painful is a step toward a healthy healing process.

Next steps

The emotions following a breakup can be challenging for anyone. Heartache is natural when it comes to ending a relationship. Learning to navigate the sadness and pain of a breakup is vital in healing in a healthy way. Prolonged feelings of sadness can lead to depression after a breakup which can affect everyday life. If you are struggling to move through the healing process after a breakup, contact us today to schedule an appointment with one of the Christian counselors at our location.

The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears and rescues them from all their troubles. – Psalm 37:17