Coping with Grief: Scriptures About Loss to Help You Grieve

The world we live in is a broken one. That brokenness manifests itself in diverse ways, from relationships mired in conflict, rifts between loved ones, having those you love taken from you by illness or some other calamity, and so on. There is much weeping and sorrow that accompanies our sojourn.

Scripture reflects this reality and gives us the language to process our experiences and grieve the various losses we go through. In this article, we’ll consider some encouragement and tips for coping with grief.

Grief comes to us all, and it does so in different ways. Rather than denying our grief, the healthy thing for us to do is to acknowledge that we have indeed experienced loss and to deal with that loss by grieving. For a believer, that grieving process is aided by resources such as a community of believers that mourn with and comfort them (Romans 12:15; 2 Corinthians 1:3-5), prayer, and Scripture.

Grieving as a Process

Grieving is how we respond to a loss. There are different types of loss, such as the death of a loved one, significant changes in your health, life changes such as achieving certain milestones or moving house, relationships coming to an end due to separation or divorce, and the loss of identity resulting from life transitions. These different forms of loss trigger an emotional and mental response known as grief.

We don’t all experience grief in the same way. While grief is often associated with sadness, there aren’t any hard and fast rules about the kinds of emotions a person experiences when they are grieving or the duration of those emotions. Some people feel sadness, while others experience denial, anger, shock, regret, guilt, relief, a sense of acceptance, longing, or numbness. Grief is a complicated and highly individual process.

The kind of relationship you had with someone, your personality, the way the loss came about, and the resources available to you to deal with loss influence your response to loss. While the grieving process is often divided into stages such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, grief is unpredictable and doesn’t follow a predetermined sequence.

The process of grief does not necessarily have an ending. Often, the feelings associated with grief will recur, perhaps years down the line when a reminder pops up. While grief never quite ends, a person learns to cope more effectively with it, and it isn’t as debilitating as it could be at first.

Grief in Scripture

In Scripture, there are many examples of grief. David weeps over his son Absalom who attempted to usurp the throne (2 Samuel 18:33); Elijah despairs that no one was left in Israel to worship the Lord (1 Kings 19); the writer of Lamentations mourns the destruction of Jerusalem; Jesus weeps over the death of His friend Lazarus (John 11:35); and Paul has deep anguish and sorrow over his people’s rejection of Christ (Romans 9:1-5), to name a few.

Scripture affirms the reality of loss and the diverse ways that loss occurs. It also affirms the rightness of the different emotions that accompany loss, including feelings of abandonment (Psalm 22; Matthew 27:46). A significant portion of the early Psalms are of lament. Lament is a way of processing difficult emotions, and it is a form of protest in which attention is drawn to horrible or painful things that have happened and that shouldn’t have happened.

Scripture has much to say about grief and loss, including reminders that God is with us in the darkness, and He will never leave or forsake us. Psalm 34:18 (NIV) reminds us that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”, while Psalm 147:3 (NIV) says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”. God sees our anguish and sorrow; more than that, He sorrows with us.

The picture that comes through again and again is of a God who is intimately involved in the lives of His people. Not only does He comfort them in their sorrow, but He binds their wounds, and “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Revelation 21:4, NIV). The way things are is not how it will always be.

Coping with Grief: Practical Encouragement

When you are coping with grief, you mustn’t do so alone. Your relationship with your loved one is something that other people may never quite understand. You may be carrying complicated feelings such as guilt or relief at a loved one’s passing, perhaps because things didn’t end well between you, or because they were struggling. Grief can isolate you, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Your experience of grief is unique, but others have also experienced grief. Others can walk alongside you, weeping with you as you weep (Romans 12:15, NASB). As the Lord has comforted them in their distress, they can also comfort others with the comfort they received (2 Corinthians 1:4). Your support network can help you take care of practical concerns like errands, and also be a safe space for you to share your thoughts and emotions.

Scripture gives room for us to express ourselves freely before the Lord. Lamentations was mentioned earlier, but the Psalms and the book of Job also give us the language with which to lodge a protest with God about something painful or unfair that’s happened to us. These Scriptures give vent to feelings of anger, abandonment, longing, fear, confusion, and so much more. Our heavenly Father wants us to approach Him with our questions, doubts, and fears.

Grief is a process and an unpredictable one at that. However, over time, the intensity of the feelings that accompany grief usually lessens. If, after six months, they remain as intense as at the start, and they impact your well-being and ability to function, you could be dealing with complicated grief. Though grief is unpredictable, and the stages of grief aren’t a matter of sequence, there is a general movement toward living with the loss and carrying on.

In the many Psalms of lament and the various expressions of grief in Scripture, there is always a note of hope. One may begin by saying, “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” (Psalm 13:1, NIV), that same Psalm ends by saying,

But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me – Psalm 13:5-6, NIV

The shape of the book of Psalms itself moves from lament being dominant in the first half to psalms of praise dominating the latter half. For the believer, though there is much to mourn in the world, and while we have the language of lament to express our sorrow, anguish, anger, confusion, and protest to God, there is hope that the Lord will set the world to rights, and He will knit our broken hearts and wipe away our tears.

One can cope with grief by allowing themselves to experience it, but while reading the present experience through the lens of hope in God. The believer should grieve, rightly so, but that grief is not a hopeless grief (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18). Death has been defeated, and the future holds the possibility of bodily resurrection from the dead through Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 15:50-57). The Lord will do what is right (Genesis 18:25).

Next Steps for Coping with Grief

In his book A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis wrote, “We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, ‘Blessed are they that mourn,’ and I accept it. I’ve got nothing that I hadn’t bargained for. Of course, it is different when the thing happens to oneself, not to others, and in reality, not imagination.” Grief can be challenging, testing your faith and upending what you thought was true about the Lord and the world.

When you encounter loss, it can be a bewildering experience. You don’t have to go through it by yourself. Having people who support you can provide you emotional validation, a sense of connection which can reduce isolation, space to express yourself, comfort, and insight as you cope with the loss.

You can speak to your loved ones, and you can also reach out to a grief counselor to help you process your loss and find healthy ways of coping with grief. To schedule an appointment with a grief counselor near you, contact our office today to find support as you’re coping with grief.