Dealing Proactively with Trauma Triggers

Regardless of how much work we have put into dealing with past trauma, there will come a time when we suddenly feel overwhelmed by emotions and memories connected to that experience. Our reaction might have resulted from a physical stimulus, like a song or a smell, or it might have stemmed from an emotional situation, such as being in an argument with a loved one.

This is known as a trigger, and almost everyone who has been through trauma will experience them at some point. It’s not always easy to know how to deal with trauma triggers, but the first step is to understand a little more about them.

The Sometimes Not-So-Helpful Nervous System

Inside every person there is an unseen network of nerves and hormones that act in partnership with our body, called the nervous system. This complex system helps us navigate life, both physically and emotionally. It releases hormones and triggers physical responses in our bodies that will ensure our survival and health. It is responsible for our moods, our momentary emotions, and our reactions to stimuli.

One of the most important functions of the nervous system is survival behavior, sometimes called the fight or flight response. When we encounter something that our nervous system recognizes as a threat, it releases hormones like adrenaline and cortisol to help us meet that threat or escape it.

The sudden release of these hormones might make us feel anxious, angry, afraid, or overwhelmed, sometimes for thirty minutes or more. The problem is that we usually do not mentally process a situation as threatening, so we are confused when we suddenly feel afraid, angry, or on edge. These sudden feelings can be so overwhelming that we shut down or freeze because we don’t know how to deal with them.

Impulsive Reactions

Threats are much scarier when they catch us unaware. A sudden flood of emotion on an ordinary day can be alarming and debilitating, and it’s not uncommon to feel ashamed or frustrated in the aftermath of a triggering event.

For example, a person who was bullied as a child might hear someone calling their name aggressively and begin automatically running away from this person. Their nervous system is recalling all the times that childhood bullies used to address them like this.

When they realize that the person was calling someone else’s name and that there was no actual threat to them as an adult, they might feel annoyed and embarrassed. Despite the fact that the “threat” has passed, they might feel anxious and angry for the rest of the day.

Trauma triggers result in an impulsive reaction. Our body reacts before our brain has had a chance to tell us what is happening. This act of being out of control of our actions is a disorienting feeling that will affect people in different ways. Even though it is our body trying to help us, triggers often cause more damage in the long run.

The good news is that we don’t have to spend the rest of our lives dealing with trauma triggers reactively. Even when we have begun working through our trauma and processing the past, we can still learn ways of responding to trauma triggers in helpful and more appropriate ways. In fact, triggers might help us become aware of areas of our heart and soul that need work, care, or attention.

The Other Side of Trigger Responses

It is not only random events or unexpected stimuli that create a trigger response. Sometimes, we are triggered by a conversation with a loved one, an argument with a friend, or conflict at work. These ordinary, everyday events might trigger a fight-or-flight response in us as our nervous system recalls trauma.

For example, we might respond to conflict by shutting down mentally and emotionally, withdrawing from people, and isolating ourselves in a safe place. Once we are alone, we begin to overthink and overanalyze the situation. These are flight responses to triggering events in the context of relationships.

Fight responses are when we lash out, become defensive, lie, make excuses, deflect, or try to justify our behavior. We might even start catastrophizing the events, blowing them out of proportion and making a resolution seem impossible.

People might also accept all the blame in a situation, place all the blame elsewhere, try to be perfect or acceptable, or try to please others with their behavior. While not fight-or-flight behavior, these actions are often responses to emotional triggers and a person’s natural way of diffusing a problematic situation.

These instinctive behaviors are unhelpful. They might create a sense of safety in a moment where we feel deeply unsafe, but in the long term, they will prevent us from growing or healing from trauma. They are instinctive or reactive behaviors, much like physically running away from a threat or meeting it with violence. It might create a sense of safety to respond in any of these ways, but the best way to deal with triggers is to be proactive.

Dealing Proactively with Trauma Triggers

Remember that underlying every traumatic experience is a lingering belief that the world is an unsafe place. Dealing proactively with triggers is our only way of regaining control. It is essential to be in control of our responses, both physical and emotional, because that is the only way to feel safe again.

There are a few steps to deal with triggers more proactively than reactively. Each one builds on the last, and when practiced over enough time, they become our new automatic response. First, we must start viewing triggers as something we can learn from, rather than an annoyance that is out of our control. We must remember that we are complex beings and that our nervous system and bodies are uniting their efforts to keep us safe, even if their efforts are a little misguided.

Secondly, we must pause and breathe. A simple technique to interrupt a survival reaction is to stop our actions, close our eyes, inhale deeply through our nose, and exhale slowly through our mouth.
This helps calm our nervous system and regulate our emotions, similar to restarting an overheating computer. This kind of de-escalation is essential to moving on from the trigger in a helpful way, not in a way that leads to more problems.

Next, we want to identify the emotions that have surfaced. We need to acknowledge them without judging ourselves or trying to figure out why we are feeling this way. Try to name the feelings you have in the moment, whatever they are.

For example, you might feel fear despite being surrounded by loved ones or anger despite having been in a good mood before. Trauma always dysregulates our emotions, so it is not surprising if we feel something that seems illogical or inappropriate.

The last important thing is to try to figure out a better response. This is why it is important not to judge our emotions. We need to understand that trauma has affected our responses, and we need to take control of them rather than judge ourselves.

Rather than withdraw, lash out, or become defensive, we might need to remain in the situation and hear the other person out. Rather than trying to ingratiate ourselves with others, or scramble to fix the situation, we might need to take several steps back and refrain from damage control until we have understood how we got to this point.

Recovering from trauma takes time, and dealing proactively with triggers takes practice. However, it is possible to learn and heal from our past experiences. If you are frustrated, despairing, or merely curious about any of this, reach out to someone and start talking about it.

You might not have anyone to talk to about your past, or perhaps you would simply prefer talking to a trained professional. We can help connect you with a counselor if that is something you would like to do. Please reach out to our offices whenever you are ready.