Helping Your Loved One When They’re Dealing With Depression

When you love someone, one of the most difficult experiences is to see them in pain and not have the ability to help them through it. We want nothing but the best for our loved ones, and when they are struggling, it’s painful in a way that’s hard to describe. One of the struggles that a loved one can go through is depression. The good news is that there is a lot that you can do to come alongside your loved one when they are dealing with depression.

Some basic facts concerning depression

One of the most important things that you can do to journey well with your loved one is to understand what depression is, and how it affects a person. Depression is a common but serious mood disorder that affects a person’s thoughts, feelings, and actions. It affects how they handle everyday activities such as sleeping, working, eating, or interacting with others.

When a person is feeling depressed, they’re not just sad, or going through a phase. Depression affects how they think and feel, and it’s not something that will simply go away on its own, nor is it a condition that a person can overcome by applying themselves and having positive thoughts. It’s important to know this so that you don’t get frustrated or assume that your loved one is being stubborn or lax.

According to Mental Health America, major depression, which is what most people mean when they talk about depression, is one of the most common mental health disorders and affects more than 8% (21 million) of American adults each year, and around 15% (3.7 million) of young people aged 12-17. Anyone, regardless of their socio-economic status, gender, age, ethnicity, or race, can be affected by depression.

When a person is depressed, it can feel as though they are looking at the world through a dark-colored lens. Depression can cause a person to start looking at themselves and the world through a persistently negative outlook. It often leads a person to attribute low self-worth to themselves. Everything can feel more difficult, and it can feel as though they don’t have any sense of agency to take back control when things go wrong.

All this can help you be more empathetic and compassionate toward a loved one who’s dealing with depression. It also allows you to prepare for changes in how they interact with you, their spouse and children, their work, and everything that comprises their life.

Knowing the signs of depression

If you’re looking from the outside in, it’s helpful to know the signs of depression so that you can move toward your loved one to support them effectively. Paying attention to your loved ones will enable you to become aware of changes in their outlook on life. It’s important to note that not everyone will experience these symptoms in the same way, nor will all the symptoms be present. Always leave it to health professionals to make a proper diagnosis.

If your loved one has been experiencing some of the following symptoms for most of the day and nearly every day for at least 2 weeks, they may have depression. Signs of depression to look out for include changes in mood and behavior such as:

• Increased anger, feelings of frustration, or being irritable.
• Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism.
• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness.
• Feeling persistently sad, anxious, or empty.
• Feeling restless or on edge.
• A loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were previously enjoyed.
• Becoming withdrawn or detached from others, becoming isolated from family and friends.
• Engaging in high-risk behaviors such as driving under the influence, risky sex with strangers, substance abuse, and so on.
• Starting to use or increasing use of substances such as alcohol or drugs.
• Becoming more impulsive.
• Having difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions.
• Feeling fatigued, lacking energy, or feeling slow.
• Lowered sexual desire and impaired performance.
• Changes with sleep, including having difficulty sleeping, waking up too early, or sleeping too much.
• Experiencing changes in appetite, leading to significant and unplanned weight gain or loss.
• Experiencing physical aches or pains, cramps, and headaches without a clear physical cause.
• Thoughts of death or suicide, making suicide attempts.
• Struggling to meet work and family responsibilities.

You know your loved one, and you can likely tell if something feels “off”. Trust your gut and encourage them to see a health professional so that they can receive a proper diagnosis. There are some medications and conditions that may result in symptoms that are reminiscent of depression, and these other possible causes need to be eliminated so that the real problem can be dealt with effectively.

Helping a loved one who’s dealing with depression

People don’t experience depression in the same way, and how your loved one experiences depression will be unique to them. Depression can cause people to lose pleasure in the activities of daily life, and it can make it hard for them to function well in performing everyday tasks. Depression can complicate other medical conditions and can even be serious enough to result in suicide.

If your loved one is battling depression, you are not entirely helpless. There are specific ways for you to come alongside them and help them on the way. Some of the ways for you to helpfully support them include the following suggestions.

Educate yourself

It’s been mentioned earlier, but one of the main things you can do for your loved one is to educate yourself about depression. This won’t make you an expert, but it will help you to avoid making rudimentary and potentially harmful mistakes such as assuming that depression is something a person can simply “get over”.

There are several different types of depression, including postpartum depression, seasonal depression, major depressive disorder, and persistent depressive disorder, to name a few. These affect people in different ways and situations, and they can affect how the symptoms of depression manifest. Becoming aware of these differences can inform your approach toward a journey with your loved one.

Help them to seek help

If you see the symptoms indicated above in your loved one, it’s important that they seek help. Seeking the help of a healthcare provider is beneficial, whether it eliminates other possible causes of the symptoms, or confirms that the issue is depression. If it turns out that it is depression, getting the professional support of a counselor can help improve how one feels and functions.

Help them with self-care

When a person has depression, they lose interest in many things that may have held their attention before. This includes elements of self-care such as grooming, eating well, getting adequate sleep, exercising, and connecting with others socially. You can help them with shopping and preparing healthy food, go with them to exercise, encourage them to maintain good sleep habits and more.

Having someone who comes alongside you as you work through something like depression can make a world of difference. That social connection and sense of being supported can help improve your sense of well-being and ability to recover from depression. You can also urge your loved one to remain connected to the Lord and to continue praying and reading Scripture with them.

Take them to therapy

Sometimes, practical things like going to therapy can feel overwhelming. You can help your loved one by being their ride to their counseling sessions, and you can also help to keep them accountable with taking their medications as well as doing the exercises prescribed by their counselor to help them address unhealthy patterns of thought and behavior.

Additionally, sometimes loved ones are called to participate in counseling sessions as a person’s family circumstances can contribute to depression. The counselor may need to speak with loved ones to understand the family dynamics that may be exacerbating the depression.

As you walk with your loved one, make sure you are taking care of yourself, so you don’t become overwhelmed. It isn’t easy to look after someone who’s dealing with depression, so you should remain open to asking for help from others when you need it. It can take time to find the right medication and dosage, as well as the right treatment approach that works for your loved one. Give it time and be patient with how things are going.

If you are looking for further guidance on how you can help your loved one deal with depression or you would like to get counsel for yourself as a caregiver, please give our office a call today.