4 Therapy Strategies for Adults with ADHD

Attention deficit disorder hyperactivity (ADHD) is a disorder that affects the person’s brain, affecting their ability to concentrate and keep focused for long periods. This lack of focus can intrude on every area of a person’s life and is not only difficult for children but also for adults.

Because it’s not as widely known in adults as it is in children, there can be a stigma attached to adults who believe they have the disorder but have not been officially diagnosed. For an adult who has trouble getting a diagnosis, there may still be strategies available to help them cope.

If you are someone or know someone with ADHD, it can also be frustrating for the people impacted by the disorder as those who have it. Adults with ADHD need to have supportive people around who will help assist and encourage them with strategies to help them get through life’s demands.

ADHD Therapy Strategies for Adults

Because the disorder is more widely recognized, strategies are available to bring hope to those who struggle to get through and manage everyday tasks. Here are four therapy strategies for adults with ADHD:

Divide Tasks Into Small Chunks

People with ADHD have difficulty juggling more than a few tasks at a time. However, in the business of life, it’s common for a significant other, coworker, or boss to assign five or six important tasks for a person with ADHD to complete. This can be an area of frustration and could make them feel anxious or overwhelmed. To help combat these feelings, divide tasks into segments.

Give them the most important tasks first and limit the number of tasks to no more than three. Encourage the person with ADHD to complete the three tasks. If they still have mental focus and attention, move on to less significant yet equally as important tasks. Support and encourage them even if they only get the three most important tasks done. Save the rest of the tasks for another day when they have mentally recharged.

Additionally, people with ADHD may need frequent breaks before completing the three tasks. These breaks may make it appear as if they want to avoid completing the task as directed, but this is a way for them to take a moment to recharge their brain and regain their focus. It is best not to criticize when someone needs frequent breaks. Communicate which tasks are urgent and need to be completed.

Adding deadlines will also increase the chances of the ADHD person completing the task efficiently. Let the person know that these tasks are essential but will not hinder the relationship if they aren’t completed within the time frame. If you are concerned that the person with ADHD will not be able to complete the task, consider not giving it to them. Their failure to complete it will only create frustration and anger when the expectations that you have for them are not met.

Celebrate the Wins

It is important to celebrate when a person with ADHD can get their tasks done for the day. Whether it’s a child who has homework after school and is having difficulty completing it or an adult who has errands to run after work, it is important to celebrate when the person with ADHD has gotten it right.

People with ADHD often struggle with low self-esteem because they cannot keep attention and focus. This low self-esteem causes frustration for them as they find their mind wandering or start a task but cannot complete it. Be sure to celebrate with them when things have gone well. If your person with ADHD cannot complete their tasks, be gentle but firm in letting the person with ADHD know that you are counting on them to complete the task.

Positive reinforcement and celebration are key factors in supporting a child with ADHD, but they work even better when it is with an adult. Adults have many responsibilities and burdens they juggle each day. It is easy to become stuck in a rut of work and sleep and have little time for recreation or fun. Building things to look forward to in the daily schedule not only incentivizes the person with ADHD to get the task completed but also makes life more fun.

Make a Routine

People with ADHD want to have a sense of normalcy and routine. Routine helps them know what to expect and ensures that they don’t have to think through what is expected of them or when it is expected to be completed. If roles and responsibilities are outlined clearly in a relationship, it will ensure that people with ADHD succeed in holding up their end of the bargain.

If you find a person with ADHD having difficulty following the routine, get a poster board or a whiteboard and outline exactly what their role is in the family. For example, when completing chores, outline exactly which chores are theirs to complete. Let them know in writing and visually where and when the chore needs to be completed. This is essential for people with ADHD since they struggle when not told exactly what needs to be done and by when.

Routine not only helps to keep a family system moving and organized, but it also helps people understand where their responsibility starts and the other person’s finishes. A person with ADHD may have difficulty understanding the boundary between what is theirs to do and what the other person must do.

Be sure, as much as possible, to choose chores or errands that each person likes to do or gravitates toward. Although there are certain chores that a family must do that are unpleasant, make sure that the desirable chores are evenly divided. This will make the tasks fun and incentivize them to finish it on time.

Speak Openly and Honestly

If you feel frustrated that a person with ADHD is not able to keep their focus during conversations, when completing tasks, or during special events, it’s time to have a hard conversation. It is important to express your feelings regarding how the relationship is working out. Simply hiding your frustration will not help the situation. Sit down and talk to the person with ADHD about how you are feeling.

Begin with encouragement and let them know you love and support them. Let them know a couple of ways in which they can improve their behavior. Be clear and direct regarding what’s not working in a relationship and how to solve it.

Simply saying this isn’t working is not going to help the person with ADHD. The person with ADHD may not know how to solve the problem which will cause them more frustration and fear that they are not meeting your expectations. Be open and honest regarding how the situation can be resolved.

For example, if a person with ADHD has difficulty remembering to bring home something after you asked them and texted them to do so, let them know how you’re feeling. Suggest a few ways this might be resolved.

Ask them to set a reminder on their phone to come up when they need to do the task required. Ask them to write down a to-do list of things that need to be done at home or after work. Reiterate that this needs their time and attention, and how it might make you feel if they make this task a priority.

Start by giving them one task that is the most important to complete and move from there. Be sure not to give them time-sensitive tests. It will only cause you anger and frustration if the person says they will complete it only to find they come home and say they haven’t.

ADHD is a disorder that impacts a person’s life in every way. This impact can be true, especially in their relationships. However, a partner who speaks openly and honestly about their feelings, gives them small tasks to complete, is gentle and supportive, and helps them establish a routine, will help a relationship with the person with ADHD be rich and rewarding rather than frustrating.